Operation: Complete

It has taken me a while to sit down and write this final post. It felt a bit daunting to sum it all up and to close the book.

I’ll start with some updates:

I got covid on New Years and it just didn’t feel right to write about this epic beautiful trip while sick. I also couldn’t believe I successfully traveled the entire country without contracting it only to return home and get sick. The only upside was that I was able to finally commit to (binge) watching Yellowstone from my sickbed. I am frequently asked which stops were my favorite and Montana is always part of my answer to that question which is immediately followed by, “Have you seen Yellowstone?!”  Thanks to omicron, I can now say yes.

Another question I was frequently asked was if I was lonely on the trip and my answer was always, “I am alone but I’m not lonely.” The answer to this question shifted when I returned home. It has been hard to be staying in the middle of nowhere aka my hometown and not in Boston. Although so many of my friends are married now and raising kids in the suburbs there are, atleast, restaurants and bars whereas the only places within 30 minutes of me are chains like TGIFridays and Outback. 

It has been hard to be so close and not see people. With omicron hitting Massachusetts as hard as it did, it was also reminiscent of the loneliness I felt during the first year of the pandemic, of being right up the street but unable to visit with anyone. 

Reflections:

I felt so purposeful throughout my trip. I had a story. I was heady with pride. My ego was basking in the admiration I received. If I am being honest, it has been hard to lose that purpose that has come with completion. 

This trip taught me that I am capable and strong. That I am independent and fierce…and a total badass. It taught me that I can sit with anxiety in moments I don’t want to show up. I can do things even if anxiety is present. I keep thinking back to visiting the top of the Space Needle in Seattle and being engulfed with fear and panic to the point that my legs were weak and my body was shaking but I decided to try moving forward anyways and gave myself permission to stop at any point, if I needed… but I ended up showing myself that I can handle pushing to my growth edge. 

This trip also showed me the power of old friendships and connections. I am wildly thankful (to the point of tears) to the friends who prioritized me and shifted their lives to welcome me in throughout this year.

My stand out moments:

Throwing a softball around in Charleston with a childhood friend

Connecting with friends & falling in love with the soul of Asheville 

Running around the Lake Michigan & facing my demons in Chicago

Montana magic & my first mountain sunsets

Edmonds, WA with old & new friends

Greenlake swims after hot runs in Seattle

Falling in love with mountains…especially Mt. Rainier

Trail running

CALIFORNIA!!

Seeing the Golden Gate Bridge and bursting into happy tears

San Diego sunshine and sunsets

So what comes next?

One thing that has surprised me most since being back is, as much of a homebody as I can be, I have not had any desire to find an apartment here and unpack my things (not even my books).

My plan for 2022 is to return to some of my favorite places and see if I feel pulled to settle in any of them.

I am also not sure how I fit here in Massachusetts anymore.  Most of my friends are in long term relationships and are starting families; friendships, understandably, no longer feel like the priority. Traveling has given me a place where I do fit and a path that feels like my purpose, my destiny. 

Itinerary:

April: Charleston

May-June (about 6 weeks): Asheville (which includes a weekend entrepreneurial conference in Nashville with a friend)

June- July (4-6 weeks): Montana (my mom and sister are hoping to come out while I am there)

August: the Pacific Northwest for some more time in Seattle and for a friend’s wedding in Oregon

Then: Who knows? Back to San Diego or maybe Denver? Maybe I will head back home to make a more concrete plan for the future?

I may blog and I may not. I am going to see which way the universe pulls me. Benny may not be with me on part or all of this trip; as chill as he is as a copilot he has had some anxiety show up in other areas.

I am forever grateful for everyone who spent a moment reading this blog, whether you followed the whole journey, parts of it, or one specific location.

I have felt loved, supported and held up by each of you.

With love, Lacey