I arrived in Miami on the afternoon of Saturday January 2nd after stopping for the night in Florence, SC- about halfway through my 24 hour drive.
The neighborhood and AirBnB itself felt much more run down and a bit less sparkly than the pictures on the posting. In an effort to check both my bubbling anxiety and my white privilege, I took some deep breaths and reminded myself that this trip is supposed to be about challenging myself and that won’t always be sparkly. I ordered Thai food and wine (and groceries, but they felt less important in the moment) and watched an episode of Survivor; throughout quarantine I’ve been obsessed with working my way through all of the seasons (don’t judge me).
I slowly unpacked after eating but I get this intense need to escape as a symptom of my anxiety- it’s part of the Fight or Flight Response that my nervous system automatically triggers but when I am not actually being chased by a wild bear (why we have this response in our DNA) it really doesn’t feel helpful. While my nervous system was screaming, “don’t unpack- keep it all ready to go” -I took some deep breaths and reminded myself that these feelings aren’t accurate and that it was ok to unpack and stay.
The next morning I woke up early and headed to North Miami Beach. The beach was basically empty; there were 2 other people there and we were all more than 20 feet from each other. The beach has always been my happy place; sometimes I wonder if as an Aries (a Fire Sign) I need water to balance and ground me. I sat and watched the waves, Facetimed by mom because hell, it was 80 degrees in January and I was on the beach (!), and then went for a swim. It was so cathartic to feel like I was washing off the long car ride and the anxious arrival and starting fresh. I didn’t stay long but I did grab breakfast to-go from a delicious vegan place called Holi Vegan Kitchen http://holivegankitchen.com (I am allergic to eggs and gluten so for breakfast vegan is the way to go). I had the best tofu scramble and a smoothie and was ready to face my day.
After settling in and making food for the week I headed back to the beach with my headphones, journal, and some rosé wine. I absolutely love New Years as a time to reflect, journal, manifest, and set intentions. Just to clarify, by intentions I do not mean set weight loss or workout goals- as a therapist I specialize in Eating Disorders and feel like it is important to note that diet culture is not part of this process for me.
A public figure and yoga teacher I follow on instagram records a podcast each New Year”s to guide people in the process of letting go of the year that has just passed and to manifest for the year ahead. I have done this several years in a row and highly recommend it to anyone interested https://www.yogagirl.com/podcast/yoga-girl-daily/the-last-intention-of-2020. She actually breaks it into 2 episodes this year because 2020 was such a beast. I reflected on 2020 and to quote from the podcast “2020- Thank you & fuck you. I release you…” Then I dove into manifesting for 2021.
By the end of the podcast she guides you to identify your intention, your affirmation, and your word for 2021 and I leave you with mine
My Intention:
To believe in myself.
My Affirmation:
I believe in myself. I am meeting my own needs.
My Word:
Belief.
Where My Feet Are 